I hit a wall.

Ever been stuck? I think I am…or maybe I was.
How do you pull yourself out of a rut that you found yourself in? It’s been over five months so far for me. It started when I lost our mailbox key.

My husband and I referred to it as, “the mailbox season”. It was back in November. We looked everywhere! Still can’t find it. But since then it begun a series of events that spiraled us further down in a hole that lead us to be discouraged.

It felt like a rug was pulled out from under me.
Like those life alert commercials too.
“Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t get up.”

Anyways, I was wrestling through some anger. And I felt like I was the one to blame.

I once heard someone name this season Angst. At some point everyone either experiences a wall they can’t seem to climb. Like it builds character or something.

I have been fighting to stay encouraged.

While I know I can’t get back the time I spent wrestling with God, I do know now that I can continue to move forward. So just a week ago, I decided I was done.

I was ready to move forward and stop believing the lies I kept telling myself. The first step that helped me move forward was to love my husband well. It meant listening to him and caring for what his needs were. While he was drowning in finals week with school and his work responsibilities, I decided to spend my free time detailing the car and getting the oil changed. While it seems pretty ordinary, I found myself climbing out of whatever rut I was in. One thing after another off the old list of things we meant to do, we finally felt like we could put an end to our mailbox key season. So we grabbed a spare we got from the association’s office and made a copy. Did that seem so hard?

But really -we go through things and we face our struggles and can either get stuck wallowing in it or jump back up. While I wish it didn’t take me five months to bounce back, I started to reevaluate what little things set me back instead of finding breakthrough.

So here’s what I learned:

• Humility changes your perspective and allows you to really see others.
• It’s okay to grieve. I am not broken, I was just hurting. And it’s okay to give myself time to heal. I learned to allow others to help when I couldn’t help myself. This allows me to empathize with others going through grief.
• I can’t out-give God. He is the ultimate giver. If I’m going to give, I better hope I do it with gladness and joy. The joy of the Lord is my strength. I don’t get a pat on the back for “sacrificing”. Jesus already sacrificed for me.
• Pay attention to the testing. Hold to what is true. There’s so many voices that mean well trying to speak to me. I need to listen to the right voice and be in it meditating and living it out daily.
• True fulfillment isn’t found in an experience, a job, a person or anything else life could offer me. If I really looked back to when I was most fulfilled, I’d say it is my personal relationship and faith in Jesus.